A relevant story that illustrates the choices that confront you is a question that came up when I was working a high school hitter. He said the following: “I’m standing in the batters box at 0 for 3 so far in the game, and I wonder if I can get a hit! I started to get frustrated that I’m not hitting well. What should I think when this happens?”

My first response to this player was that he has two choices. The reality is that his last at-bats did not lead to a hit. I said the first choice and the wrong way to think is that you’re not hitting well today, the gods are not on your side. Every at-bat is a failure. This choice only causes you to become frustrated with your hitting and you blame yourself for not getting a hit, and think that you will continue to do the same!

I suggested to this player that the better choice is to know that you are putting in quality at-bats, but the outcome is not what you want. You’ll get a hit. You’ve got to stay patient and wait for it to happen, but nothing is happening YET.

You, too, have to stay confident, patient, and believe that you will get a hit if you stick to one at-bat at a time! Let go of the past. You must make this simple choice. Do you want to give yourself a chance of getting a hit in the later innings? Of course you do. Then you’d better make the right choice to give yourself a chance to get a hit! Forget about your past at-bats and stay confident with each new at-bat.

He had a rational side that knew you can’t get a hit every time and he didn’t let a ground out or pop out effect his hitting confidence or other parts of his game. Good hitting helped him relax, which improved the rest of the game. He hit great and didn’t worry about mistakes because he knew that mistakes were only temporary. In the end, Soft Hands won games.

I also knew a hitter called Death Grip. Death Grip was not a great hitter like Soft Hands. When Death Grip strikes out early in the game, he talked himself into hitting poorly all day. His grip got even tighter. He became more anxious and hit worse. He lost his confidence, touch, and had negative momentum on his side. Death Grip, unlike Soft Hands, had an irrational side to him. When he popped out early he would say to himself: “Here we go again, hitting poorly again”.

He would reinforce this thinking by maintaining irrational thoughts like: “It’s so awful that I can’t hit well all the time, I’ll never be a great hitter.” Death Grip’s frustration with hitting made him make poor decisions, get tense the whole day, and not enjoy baseball. His frustration filtered into the rest of his game and made him make errors on defense, which further eroded confidence. He was angry at baseball. In the end Death Grip’s hitting caused him to burnout, be depressed, and not enjoy the game he loved to play.

The ironic part of the story is that Soft Hands and Death Grip were the same person living in conflict together, and battling for supremacy. The moral of the story is that humans have two sides to their personality. To be successful and be happy in life, the rational side must prevail.